in the mist of unravel feelings

    In the mist of this strength I fall without you letting me in each and every day its death and i cant wait to die. Why do you do this i ask myself? the door is about to close on me and i don't realize it i don't see i'm loosing my vision it blurs more than you think i cry yet you don't see my tears the same tears that ponder. this pain is inside me through my body consuming whats left of me eating my soul and not letting go. I'd take away the pain but were would i leave it. where can i drop it. so it can stay. it follows me everywhere i go like my shadow never letting apart always following reminding me that he is their. i try to pick myself off of the dirt but where would i go. the only place i have is room. no not a home that doesn't exist without a family or love? love a form that tortures and brings back pain. you try to save me pick me up yet even if my body goes up my soul is down on the floor where it belongs. Purity is not a word a for me its something you are and im not. my sins have brought me here where i am a place not one can enter. All my voices tell me to die yet i don't lisen. I trying to find an exit in this muse that doesn't seem to actually have one. if this is how its going to be id rather die that to stay lost and never get out of this misery.

Since you came

     Hi well I haven´t been able to do this in along while it´s actually a controversial in my mind whether to speak about you or not. So I asked you if I can write about you and you gave me the opportunity to go go ahead and do it my vision was that you were going to back out I would have written about you anyway so to start with you full my with the ecstasy where no one has gone and to further this you don´t mind because of the faults I´ve had I told you I ain´t no angle yet you decided to ignore my advice. Do you believe me now? I'M going to assume you do. Who would have thought though one of the main activities I do is fulfill other peoples dreams to make them feel as if a craving of having the soul and body take control. Don't underestimate my thoughts, emotions, and actions cause their is always a surprise like the first day we were together. I don't go for bullshit I learned to hate and reject it but when it comes to this you better no take that step. For now I feel you at every close of my eyes, I feel your touch nibbles gently in all my body asking for an entrance inside me an entrance i don;t deny at all this this is what I want whether it's sinful and unethical towards society i believe it has been unethical towards us. I plead for mercy with every tough you give me because i just want you to make me yours like if it was the last thing you did. CONTROL ME MAKE ME LOOSE POWER. This weakness grands you entrance and power towards all of me. I know I'm holding on to you as the same way you are to me. How we do is with this game that might end well or misery but whichever it actually is the pleasure or your lips your body is something no one will take away if you were powder i would inhale you until I passed out. Only you know that only you will know that if this comes to an end  i will go with dead silence to the doom. Somewhere no one can find me.

anxiety

So I've figured it out i have anxiety the famous disorder that kills little by little i have learned how to control it but even them

continued of dealing with me

continuing on dealing with me lets just say that i get really pms more than a normal girl so imagine how that is.
3. you cant always trust what you see
why is that well because sometimes what you see is different from what other people see because not everyone is the same and not everyone has the same vision
4.being me means no one is going to be their to save you if anything you have to save yourself no matter the circumstance.
continuation soon to be posted. love you guys.

Dealing With Me

Dealing with me

So Hi once again I'm writing today because whether I like it or not its hell hard to be me. 

1. one of the things is that you gotta reject and hate everyone even if you don't.

2. you have to lie big time to the once you love. 

You might ask why?  Well because you have to keep it up to what they expect you are whether your a good or bad person that's something they have to figure out. Maybe if they feel interest they will stay and know you for who you are and if they leave is that they never really gave a dam about you or anything as a matter a fact. Those were the people that were just with you for the pity of being with you not mattering what everyone felt. You see these people usually believe different principles than we do and its okay because everyone is different but not mattering that they shouldn't play like that with you and especially have pity like what the hell we don't need pity or anything.

At least in my opinion you don't right?

Second part will be posted soon.

bit of me as a bit of you

1106090  is the perfect girl for a man but you've gotta remember that every perfect girl has mistakes and a past that torments her and that can not be forgotten not even by her she will always remember you the day she met you the day she had to leave you and she will cry for you like a baby missing his mother except his mother comforts him but you won't until she comes back you'll look for her and you won't find her you you'll scream she wont respond to her name because it will be to late to late to erase her past and to forget time might past by but it stays their she will suffer like no other women for you and leave you to be happy because if your happy she will too.
oppa (love)  meaning i love you and i miss you love 

vulnerability

   

 

This saying has been around to long to actually recognize it as a saying the problem is that in vulnerability their is also advantage of one so should we just let it happen i dont really think so but it all depends in the way we view it  somtimes their is flow or against it because that is the way your taught but how about if you teach yourself would it still be the same? teenagers have to realize that once no one is their we depend on our selfs even if our parents always say their their for you they're not atleast not really no just try to [ush all the bullshit off and that may you feel better because you atleast wont suffer much for everything everyone says and you will be able to pretend to be happy for a while until you are and when u r dont loose yuor happiness but also dont let it be because of a guy and if u r vulnerable it is time to hide it for once and for all 

Stephanie Bennet Henry quote

     The toughest situations (423) are created by oneself no one can actually say we can stop them but we can only go along with them no matter what happens it reality we decide to make situations tough and go along with them so its time to cut through them and stop thinking that everything is ok when its not face the truth and dont keep back from saying it.

-yaya

hating and loving to move on and off

     Hi Lisa, its me once again writing to let you know what has happened and let me tell you its been a lot although it would depend on how you decide to see the situation so I am once again moving for the i don''t know 10th time now but the most curious thing is that i thought i was gonna have my own space but no i don't and its not much that i hate it just that it gets tiring to depend on someone and although i know my family isn't going through a good time i wish i had my own space to let myself out i appreciate everything everyone has done for me and I'm okay with it but being a nerd and a freak that can fight is kinda weird because people misjudge you in many ways that you can not keep up with them yes i do act weird but it is mostly because of my past and my present its not like i don't have friends because i do and i know that but sometimes you just need to keep it to your own like your life and every personal stuff your feeling because seeing through someones weakness is the worst thing you can do no matter how much people say other wise its true seeing all weakness is bad because many people take advantage of you and its not fair you should learn how to depend on your self and yes i do understand people depends one guys and girls more to say girlfriends and boyfriends to keep them up but what if their no their when you really need them because now a days relationships are mostly based on sex and idea of love but not actual love call me crazy to believe that still exist but it does somewhere out-here we just got to look and find like a hide and seek game and after for those whose suffer disabilities like me of anxiety things are seen different good or add but they are seen different mostly books and music are escapes for the mind to be free from everything no matter hoe much we deny it it is our escape to not be sad and depressed because maybe just maybe we like being like that. 

remember this guys.