2 ways

Hey, guys i know i haven't well updated as u thought i would but ive been way busy but i really hope to he updating more often so alot has happened since the last time like the fact that i still live in tha past and the guy i was with cheated on me after i went out with this other guy dont get me wrong it wasnt that soon but what happened is that he is a really nice guy but is 17 almost 18 has alot in mind so we  are now really close friends algain and this new guy likes me and wants me to be his but i reggeted why i dont even know he is kice and all but i am just not ready i dont feel it or maybe its how i said i miss him i remember his soft lips and stuff also im under supervision i made a decision that was not so good well actually not good at all in general but idk it just happened to me. I'm not sure if you guys ever felt this way but see as we all know there is all types of groups at school and me i dont get invlved in non im non i dont consider me as part of one why idk i just dont i like being antisocial self.

Moving

Hey guys so it's stupid how some bullshit can happen easily  when u do the right thing when you do wrong no one gives lol fakes gonna hate 

Imagine

Imagine if life was so different and simpler. Would it be easy or harder I really don't know at this point or moments things haven't been good lately but I guess I gotta be strong enough to make it to the end 

living

I hate having to live here with people that the only good thing they do is bring you down when your about to start lifting yourself up like fuck up are you aware we are teenagers and have to learn from our mistakes little by little and sometimes they even act more like children than adults I wish I could just live alone I think its the fact that I got used to being alone no matter what I mean I know I'm alive but feel dead and lonely

beggining

so hey guys this is my new blog where you can ask anything you want i will respond also. my name is Ruth I'm 15 years old and about to go to my sophomore year in high school please follow it. I'm creating this blog mostly to help girls and guys that go through rough time situations throughout life I am not a typical teenage girl I've been through alot and life just keeps getting rough. I live with my parents there mostly not home because of work sometimes i go with either dad or mom to help them but most of the time i feel alone in this empty place as i said i have a rough past and would like to help others go through it but its not easy throughout life pretending to be happy when your not when you even decide what cloth you wanna wear or the fact that i feel fat at times but nobody tries to tell me otherwise except my boyfriend Carlos emmanuel saldana beltran he you could say is a nice guy because hes their for me and we are one month and so weeks together his family is nice to i guess but what surprises me is that hes with me knowing that i have anxiety sometimes depression and all i hate to feel empty but that's just how i do feel most of the time empty like i'm going no where i've tried to avoid cutting alcohol drugs for sometime now but i don't find a point it doesn't make any difference whether you do it or don't personally you still feel the same at the end either way and at school i dont even wanna say that i even join clubs or sports or any music don't get me wrong i love listening to music and singing and playing the piano writing songs but just not in public it feels weird and abnoshions to even think about it i guess i've also figure that feeling this way doesn't have an actual age it just happens within a matter of time and whether you like it or not it's just there like a monster hunting you down until it sees you on the ground my parents tried to live a perfect life which is crazy because we don't have a perfect life in fact my life is shit and anxiety only makes things worse everything does it started when i was 9 and since then on i've lived happy being and actress pretending to impress everyone that i am truly a happy person when i know inside my soul and my heart there is something deep killing me and only in a matter of time waiting to be set free so everyone can know the real me